How to get a job during a pandemic: 5 mindset tips that helped me

How to get a job during a pandemic: 5 mindset tips that helped me

Trying to get a job during a global pandemic is no easy task. In fact, it’s down right discouraging! Searching for a job can be difficult enough on its own – and covid-19 has only made it harder. Unfortunately, this is something that many people are finding out firsthand right now. 

Just a few months ago, I was one of those very people. Every morning I would wake up, sit in front of my laptop, and spend hours sending out my resume to pretty much every company I could find. 

I hated every minute of it. I hated that no matter how hard I worked, I didn’t see any progress. I hated that no matter how many resumes I sent out, no one was calling me up.

I was miserable. Eventually, my miserableness turned into complete exhaustion.

I knew I needed a break. I needed to rest, I needed to regroup, and most of all, I needed to do some serious work on my mindset. Because something clearly wasn’t working.

Flash forward to today and I’m two months into working at a job I absolutely love.

What was my secret? It all came down to that seven-letter word: mindset.

Your mindset is the most powerful tool you have in helping you land a job. It’s more powerful than your resume, your cover letter, and all the snazzy buzzwords you put in them.

When it comes to landing a job during this pandemic, your success is dependent upon your mindset.

When I took a break from looking for jobs to focus on my mindset, I noticed a MASSIVE difference when I eventually went back to looking for jobs. Not only did I feel more positive, but I also received more positive results!

And I’m going to share with you exactly what I did.

mindset tips that helped me find job in global pandemic title

Mindset shift #1: I got rid of my self-limiting beliefs

It’s so easy to read a job description and immediately think “I’m not good enough for this, someone else will be more qualified than I am”.

The second you think this, you’re setting yourself up for failure before you even start. You’re putting it out into the universe that you are NOT good enough and that someone WILL be better than you.

Ultimately, you’re creating this as your own reality.

If you want to find a job, you need to STOP with the self-limiting beliefs that are holding you back from success.

When I took some time off to focus on my mindset, I began by working on building up my self-confidence. I did this by telling myself that I was talented and that any employer would be lucky to have me. I even spent time writing down a list of all the things that I was great at.

This is where the magic happened – because as I was writing these things down, I wasn’t just ‘writing them down’, I was genuinely believing them.

It was this self-belief that helped me land the job I have today. Why? Because on top of radiating through in my cover letters and interviews, it also radiated through the universe.

The more I believed that I deserved to find a job, the more the universe believed in me too.

Mindset shift #2: I told myself (and others) that it was going well

For the three long months I was looking for a job, I had a lot of people ask me how it was going. It would always be a topic of conversation at the dinner table with family, and it would always come up in Zoom calls with my friends. 

But instead of doing that thing we tend to do of making our lives sound a lot harder than they actually are, I made a conscious effort to ONLY ever say good things about how my job hunt was going.

Instead of huffing and puffing and saying, “It’s brutal! It’s killing me!”, I always said that it was going well, and that I felt good about it. 

The thing is, I wasn’t lying. The more I started saying these positive things out loud about my job search, the more it genuinely seemed good! And the more it seemed good (that is, the more positive mindset I had towards it), the better results I received!

This wasn’t just limited to speaking with other people either. When looking for jobs online, I would say things to myself like, “today’s going to be a productive day” , or “today I’m going to be one step closer to finding a job.”

Our words are incredibly powerful. The way we speak to ourselves and others about how our job search is going has a HUGE impact on how it actually goes. And you don’t have to be overly positive all the time, it’s totally ok to have bad days, but overall, if you keep your words positive, your mindset and your outcomes will follow!

If you want to find a job, it’s important to choose your words wisely.

one step closer to finding job quote

Mindset shift #3: I accepted that the road may be less linear

We’re in the middle of an unprecedented global pandemic. No matter how much we may not want to admit it – this is going to have an impact on us

And I don’t just mean ‘us’ as in society, I mean ‘us’ as in every single one of our individual lives.

For many, covid-19 has come in like a wrecking ball. It’s thrown off plans, pushed goals to the wayside, and led us down totally unexpected paths.

This is okay.

We have to remember that this pandemic is completely out of our control. There’s nothing we can do to change it, so the only thing we can do is accept it (and all the twists and turns that come with it).

When I started truly accepting the fact that this pandemic was going to have an impact on the career path I had in mind for myself, a GIANT weight was lifted off my shoulders. Suddenly, I realized that it was okay if I didn’t find my dream job right away.

This doesn’t mean that I completely lowered my expectations, but it does mean that I put less pressure on my job search. In fact, I began thinking about it as less of a “job search” and more of a “stepping stone search”.

Let’s remember – having a stepping stone in a global crisis is a win in and of itself.

Mindset shift #4: I believed that there was enough to go around

One of the biggest things that many job-searchers are worried about right now is the increased competition for jobs during this pandemic. After all, the more people searching for a job, the less likely it is that you’ll get chosen for one – right?

Well, without getting into a hot debate about whether this is actually true or not, there IS one thing I can say for sure:

This is a dangerous frame of mind to be in.

This is called scarcity mindset. It’s the belief that there is only so much of something to go around; that if someone else gets something, they’re taking away your chances of getting it.

Of course, this leads to nothing but fear, stress, and anxiety. Not super useful in helping you land a job!

The opposite of scarcity mindset is abundance mindset. This is the belief that there’s MORE than enough to go around; that the universe is unlimited in what it can provide.

When I took some time off from searching for jobs, I trained myself to go from scarcity mindset to abundance mindset. I stopped worrying about the so-called “competition”, I stopped thinking about “who else” was applying to these jobs, and I stopped obsessing over “how many” jobs were available.

The only thing I thought about was how vast and abundant the world was. I reminded myself that no matter how small and limited it may appear from behind my laptop, there was more than enough. 

As it turns out, there really was.

universe is unlimited quote

Mindset shift #5: I went easy on myself

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – finding a job in the middle of a global pandemic is hard. It seems so obvious, but we tend to forget this.

We tend to think that if we haven’t been able to find a job, we’ve done something wrong or we haven’t worked hard enough.

This couldn’t be further from the truth.

There are SO many different variables that go into landing a job – and most of these are completely out of our control. Add a global pandemic to the mix and it gets even MORE complicated!

This isn’t to say that it all comes down to luck, but it is to say that you shouldn’t blame yourself if the process doesn’t happen quickly.

When I took some time off to work on my mindset, I made an effort to start cutting myself some slack. Instead of beating myself up about how little success I was having, I reminded myself how difficult of a task it was I was doing. Instead of dwelling on how many rejection emails I was getting, I just focused on the task at hand.

And like all things in life, after some steady work, I got there.

 

 

So to anyone who’s currently struggling to find a job during this pandemic – know that you WILL get there. As long as you have the right mindset, it WILL happen.

Take a day, take a week, take a month – but whatever you do, take some time to work on your mindset.

It’s going to make all the difference.

 

 

Natalie Burns-Holland

Natalie Burns-Holland

Content Creator at Mindaya

Natalie is a freelance writer living in Edinburgh, Scotland.
12 Ways to Reconnect with Your Inner Child

12 Ways to Reconnect with Your Inner Child

In part 1 of this article, we went over how negative experiences from our childhood has lead to us having unhealed wounds in our adulthood. We also discussed the 22 ways you can tell that you may have unhealed wounds.

Now it’s time to move onto the fun part – that is, the healing part

The importance of healing your inner child

When we nurture our unhealed wounds from childhood, we are “re-parenting” the childlike part of ourselves. We are telling our inner child that it’s okay, that she’s not in danger, and that we haven’t forgotten about her. Okay, I know it sounds super hippy-dippy and New Age-y, but TRUST ME, it will make such a huge difference in your life! Besides, the alternative is much worse.

If we ignore the fact that our inner child has wounds (which a lot of us do) and if we don’t give our inner child the nurturing and attention it needs (which a lot of us don’t), we’ll keep performing the same negative behaviours over and over and over in our life. And it will just make us feel worse and worse about ourselves.

Too often, instead of giving our inner child the attention, encouragement, and support that it yearns for, we put her down and criticize her. We look in the mirror and lament about how much weight we’ve gained or how “ugly” we are. We scold ourselves if we eat a little bit too much, if we don’t do something “perfectly”, or if we say something “wrong” in a social situation. We tell ourselves that our partner is going to leave us, that we’re worthless, that we’re a failure.

We need to stop putting our inner child down.

It’s time to re-parent that forgotten part of ourselves. It’s time to revisit the unmet needs, irrational fears, unsolved questions, suppressed emotions, lost enthusiasm, and forgotten creativity. Our inner child is and always has been there, and she’s crying out at us for the guidance that was lost along the way.

12 ways to heal and reconnect with your inner child

1) Apologize for neglecting your inner child

You need to acknowledge and tell yourself that you’re sorry for disregarding your inner child for so long. This is the first step in getting a dialogue between you and her started back up again!

2) Remind yourself how wonderful you are

Stop focusing on your flaws and all the things “wrong” with you. Every day, write down three things that you love about yourself. It could be anything from your ability to make other people laugh to your Minnie Mouse-shaped birthmark on your foot!

3) Be mindful of (read: CENSOR) your inner critic

Remember – just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean the child you once were is gone. Look at a photo of yourself as a child and realize that whenever you say hurtful things to yourself, you are saying those hurtful things to that vulnerable child in the photograph. I know, it’s sad – but it’s true.

4) Find a safe place

Make sure you have a physical space where you can just hide away from the world for a while and let your inner child’s thoughts and imagination run free. Maybe it’s your favourite cafe, maybe it’s a spot in the forest, or maybe it’s in the corner of your closet!

5) Pay attention to your feelings

Ask yourself throughout the day, “how am I feeling right now?” (*spoiler*: the answer you get is from the voice of your inner child! She loves when you ask her this question). Keep in mind: the most important part of this is taking how she responds seriously.

inner child guidance

6) Tell yourself you have nothing to feel ashamed about

There’s no need to hold onto shame or regret of things that happened in the past. You’re a human, you’re learning, and you will make mistakes (because that’s what humans do). Just let it go and make sure your inner child knows that you forgive her. Trust me, this will make her VERY giddy to hear!

7) Remind yourself that you’re not at fault

As we’ve learned, a lot of how you behave isn’t because of you, but because of your environment. Go easier on yourself – a lot of it’s not even your fault! Think about it, would you blame a child this much? Likely not!

FYI – this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work on bettering yourself, it just means you shouldn’t do it from a place of blame.

8) Rediscover a forgotten passion

Did you love making art when you were a child? Grab some coloured pencils and get drawing! Don’t worry about it being “good” or not. Your inner child doesn’t care about those sorts of things.

9) Do ‘childlike’ things

Reconnect with the little things that brought you joy as a kid. Maybe you loved a particular type of sugary cereal – buy it and have it for breakfast every now and then! Maybe you loved playing games on your PlayStation – get an old copy Spyro or Crash and just enjoy!

10) Write a letter to your inner child

Write anything that comes from the heart. It could be nurturing words, an apology, encouragement, advice, or even a short story! Just write something – your inner child will love reading it no matter what it is (bonus: your inner child doesn’t even care about grammar!)

11) Visualize

Here’s a fun exercise – grab a photo of yourself as a child and stand in front of a mirror. Look at the photo, and then look at yourself. This will really help you make a connection between yourself and your inner child and will help you visualize yourself as that child now!

*Tip: This is a great exercise to do onto other people as well. Look at the people in your life – your friends, your partner, your parents – and imagine them as children. When you do this, you’ll come to realize that everyone, just like you, has an inner child that has wounds and insecurities that needs nurturing. This is a great way to cultivate compassion and understanding towards others.

12) Remember it takes time

Years of neglecting your inner child won’t solve itself overnight, but with little steps taken each and every day, you will get there. Each time you do something to reconnect with your inner child, you’ll notice that little differences start sprouting up in your life. And trust me, it’ll be an amazing thing for you to experience.

When we heal our inner child, we let go of things in the past that we didn’t even realize we were holding onto. We learn to become in tune with ourselves in a way that we didn’t know we were missing out on. We learn, most of all, to love ourselves.

Natalie Burns-Holland

Natalie Burns-Holland

Content Creator at Mindaya

Natalie is a freelance writer living in Edinburgh, Scotland.
Why You Need to Stop Feeling Guilty for Not Being Productive During COVID-19

Why You Need to Stop Feeling Guilty for Not Being Productive During COVID-19

If you’ve been scrolling through your social media feeds lately, you may have found yourself scratching your head wondering when the heck everyone suddenly became bread-baking experts, meditation gurus, and fitness pros

Well, you’re definitely not alone in your confusion.

As COVID-19 lockdowns have swept across the world, a very noticeable surge of “productivity pressure” has started to sprout up alongside it. Everywhere you look, it seems as though people are encouraging you to follow their lead and use this lockdown to get stuff done, develop your hobbies, and altogether just become the “best you” possible.

Just take, for instance, the viral tweets about how Shakespeare wrote King Lear when he was in quarantine during the Plague in the 17th century. Or how Isaac Newton used his time to come up with the theory of gravity. Right, because that’s the kind of pep talk we need right now … (???)

Disclaimer: products on this page may contain affiliate links. We only promote products that we think are super awesome and will provide value to you! You can read more about our terms here.

Productivity shaming during COVID-19

This “productivity shaming” that’s currently being spewed at us from the media is hugely problematic. Let’s get this straight – we’re currently in the midst of an unprecedented global pandemic that’s causing HUGE upheaval in the world.

This isn’t just something that’s going to pass in a few months – this is going to change the way our very society functions. I’m not trying to scare you, I just want to give you some perspective (because so often this can get lost in the media).

Honestly, this is really big.

Yet for some reason, we’re still being told by our apps, by social media influencers, and by – perhaps worst of all – ourselves, that we need to use this time to focus on us. To self-improve. To be our “best” every single day

We’re currently going through a collective trauma experience – how on earth are we supposed to be operating at our “best” every day?! It’s challenging enough when life is normal!

You need to go easier on yourself

The world is not at its best right now, so of course you’re not going to be at your best right now, either. This immense pressure put on us to “get things done” is just ridiculous, and only adds more pressure onto our already anxious minds!

Despite what your social media feeds may be showing you (read: lying to you) about all the *brilliant* things that people are learning, achieving, and getting done, it’s really not reflective of reality. 

The reality is, anxiety and depression levels are up, and LOADS of us are finding it difficult to stay healthy, let alone productive, inspired, and creative. I promise you – you’re not the only one feeling this way.

In fact, this is a completely normal response to the pandemic. Don’t be fooled by the productivity shamers that are inundating your social feeds. Afterall, we know we can’t believe everything that people show us there.

Different responses to stress

There’s no ‘one-size-fits-all’ reaction to stress, change, and uncertainty – we all respond completely differently. So it’s only natural that we all react differently to the global trauma we’re currently experiencing.

Some people may deal with stress and uncertainty by being uber productive (think, for example, of that one classmate you had who would always leave their assignments until the very last minute, pull an all-nighter, and then somehow manage to still get a stellar mark on it). That’s totally fine! But you need to realize that not everyone is like this. In fact, a lot of us aren’t like this.

For a lot of us, it’s a struggle to even find the energy to get out of bed during lockdown. For a lot of us, the only thing we can manage to do is sit in front of the TV and binge-watch shows all day long.

This. Is. Okay. 

There’s no right or wrong way to deal with an unprecedented global pandemic. None of us know what’s going to happen, and none of us know what we’re doing. So if you don’t become fluent in French, if you don’t become ripped, and if you don’t end up writing a novel, it’s all good.

Tip: if you’re feeling particularily stressed about the Coronavirus situation, I recommend downloading our free Anxiety Handbook!

A note on self improvement

The self-improvement movement that’s become mainstream over the past few years has had some seriously great benefits. Here at Mindaya, we are ALL about personal growth and we believe that everyone has the power to become the best version of themselves and live the life they dream of living!

But as with all things in life, too much of something can be a bad thing. 

In recent years, the media has taken this idea of ‘self-improvement’ and morphed it into being something more about productivity than about actual pleasure and fulfillmentProductivity is only ONE aspect of self-improvement. Being productive isn’t an end in itself, it’s a means to an end. You shouldn’t strive to “do more” just for the sake of “being productive” and “accomplishing more”. This is so absurd! The whole point of being productive is so that you can spend more time doing the things you love and the things that set your soul on fire.

The “hustle” mentality that’s grown out of the COVID-19 lockdowns is pushing for productivity at the expense of our humanity. Our beautiful world is going through uncharted territory – now’s not necessarily the time to be focusing solely on improving yourself.

Okay, now that you know the truth about the ridiculous claims that “you need to be productive during isolation”, it’s time to take a great big sigh of RELIEF! Rest assured that you are doing perfectly fine no matter what you’re doing (and no matter what you’re NOT doing). It’s okay. It’s all okay. 

Finally, I wanted to summarize a couple tips that will help you deal with the COVID-19 productivity pressure. Write them down on your phone, or stick them on a piece of paper above your workspace so you see them every day!

10 tips for how to cope 

  1. Remind yourself every day that the world as we know it is going through a major change. Remind yourself that this is a big thing. 
  2. Recognize that having anxiety is normal right now (as well as feeling more depressed, lethargic, unmotivated, and uninspired)
  3. Take what people say on social media with a grain of salt (remember: people always portray the best version of themselves on social media, it’s not a genuine reflection of reality) – better yet, take a break from social media altogether
  4. Remember that there’s no right or wrong way to cope with a pandemic
  5. Stop measuring your worth against other people’s achievements. 
  6. Remind yourself that this is temporary and that things will get better
  7. Stop focusing on your future for a while (ex –“I want to have achieved ‘XYZ’ by the time the pandemic is over”) – focus instead on what you’re doing in the present moment 
  8. If you do want to set goals for yourself during isolation, make sure they’re realistic and start with baby steps (ex – doodle on a scrap piece of paper for five minutes, watch less than 4 hours of TV, stretch for 3 minutes on the bed every morning) 
  9. If you ever start feeling the guilt about not being productive creep back into your mind, just let it be – don’t give your guilt unnecessary attention (that is, don’t start feeling guilty for feeling guilty!
  10. Remember that we’re all in this together! 
Natalie Burns-Holland

Natalie Burns-Holland

Content Creator at Mindaya

Natalie is a freelance writer living in Edinburgh, Scotland.
How to Heal Your Inner Child When You Criticize Her Every Day

How to Heal Your Inner Child When You Criticize Her Every Day

As we make our way through life’s journey, somewhere along our travels from childhood to adulthood we often pick up some very flawed beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. There’s one belief in particular that stands out, as it has the most damaging effects on our lives… 

That belief is this:

That when we grow up, we have nothing to do with our childhood selves. That ‘childhood’ and ‘adulthood’ are two separate entities that exist independently of each other. Once we’ve grown up, we’ve moved on. We’re adults. And there’s nothing child-like about that – right?

Wrong.

Disclaimer: products on this page may contain affiliate links. We only promote products that we think are super awesome and will provide value to you! You can read more about our terms here.

You’ve probably heard the term ‘inner child’ thrown around before, but like many terms, it’s gained a bit of a misunderstood reputation. In reality though, it’s super simple:

Think of your inner child like you think of your shadow. Although you’re not physically your shadow, it’s still very much connected to you and follows you wherever you go (even if it’s a bit hidden at times!).

The exact same goes with your inner child. Even though you’re not physically a child anymore, she’s still very much with youJust because you’ve gained the title of “ADULT” doesn’t mean that you’ve suddenly severed all ties with the childlike part of yourself.

In fact, there are really only two things that have changed about you since you’ve become an adult:

1) your outward appearance

&

2) the things you’ve learned throughout your years living on this earth

And it’s this second one that we’ll be focusing on in this article – because this is one that causes us some problems!

The lens we see the world through

When we were children, we were constantly learning about ourselves and the world around us. Our minds were like these super porous sponges that just sopped up everything we saw, heard, and experienced.

We learned what was “right” from what was “wrong”, what was “good” from what was “bad”, and what was “normal” from what was “weird”. All these things we learned became logged in our mind to create a kind of ‘lens’ that we saw the world through. And this ‘world lens’ of ours doesn’t just stay with us in childhood, it stays with us our entire lives.

In other words, the experiences we’ve had in the past shape the way we see (and behave in) the present.

This can be a bit tricky to understand, so if you’d like a bit of a deeper explanation, check out this previous blog post: How Negative Thinking Gets Wired into Your Brain. It does a great job explaining how this “thought-logging” works in more detail. I also suggest signing up for our free 4-Day Anxiety Course as it comes with some super useful hands-on exercises that help you analyze and challenge your ingrained thoughts and beliefs!

What becomes of bad experiences?

Now, many of the things we learned as children that become logged in our minds as adults were perfectly fine. For example, if we burnt the tip of our finger on a candle, for the rest of our lives we would know that fire = hot. I think we can all agree that that’s a fairly useful part of our ‘world lens’!

But there are also many harmful experiences that have become logged in our minds that make us believe certain things. These are called “wounds”. These wounds will differ from person to person, but there’s one thing for sure: everyone has wounds in some form or another. In fact, the vast majority of the negative behaviours and negative traits we have in life are a direct result of unhealed wounds from our childhood.

Here are 22 common signs that you may have unhealed wounds from childhood:

  1. You have low self-esteem
  2. You have poor body image
  3. You have problems when it comes to eating (bad relationship with food)
  4. You have feelings of shame or regret over something that happened in the past
  5. You’re a people-pleaser
  6. You feel inadequate as an adult
  7. You have trouble committing to or trusting other people
  8. You have difficulty letting go of things (or people)
  9. You feel as if you don’t have your own sense of identity
  10. You have feelings of guilt/shame when it comes to romance
  11. You have issues with jealousy
  12. You have social anxiety
  13. You regularily engage in self-destructive behaviour
  14. You have trouble doing “grown-up” things on your own
  15. You have difficulty making decisions (either big or small)
  16. You’re unable to assert your own opinion to others
  17. You have anger issues/you can’t control your emotions 
  18. You feel anxious when outisde of your comfort zone
  19. You feel like you’re wearing a “mask” around other people (you feel you can’t fully be yourself)
  20. You have dependency issues
  21. You’re passive-aggressive
  22. You have difficulty communicating/confronting others

Hot to figure out what your wounds were

There are SO many different types of childhood wounds that may result in negative behaviours (like the ones listed above) in adulthood.

On the more extreme side, there’s trauma. Trauma is the most harmful wound of all, as it can have absolutely devastating consequences.

But besides trauma, there are so many other ‘little’ wounds that may have caused you to behave a certain way in adulthood. Here are a few examples of some common negative behaviours and the possible wounds that may have caused them:

  • Negative behaviour/trait: you have difficulty asserting yourself to others
  • Possible wound: You were taught that “children should be heard and not seen”

 

  • Negative behaviour/trait: you have guilt when it comes to romance
  • Possible wound: You were told that you couldn’t date until you graduated High School

 

  • Negative behaviour/trait: you believe you’re incapable of doing things on your own
  • Possible wound: You were coddled as a child

These are of course just a few examples – I encourage you to do some digging and think about what your own wounds may be!

But even if you can’t quite pinpoint what your specific wounds were, that’s totally okay! You don’t need to know exactly what they were in order to overcome the negative behaviours associated with them. 

The only thing you need to realize is that you DO have wounds from your childhood, and that they are in desperate need of some TLC!

So in part 2 of this article, I’ll be going over 12 practical steps you can take to reconnect with and heal your inner child. 

Read part 2 here

30 Self-Care Tips for Introverts (and why it’s important)

30 Self-Care Tips for Introverts (and why it’s important)

“Society has a cultural bias towards extroverts” – Susan Cain

It doesn’t take a whole lot of searching to discover just how true this statement is. When it comes to introversion and extroversion, we definitely live in a world that favours the latter.

But first of all – what exactly is introversion and extroversion?

(spoiler alert: it’s not just “shy” and “not shy”)

 

Disclaimer: products on this page may contain affiliate links. We only promote products that we think are super awesome and will provide value to you! You can read more about our terms here.

Extroverts – The Social Butterflies

Extroverts are people who get energized when they’re around other people. They’re the social butterflies of the world. And if these butterflies spend too much time alone, they’ll start to feel isolated and uninspired. Full of life, full of energy, and full of chat – you’ll always find the extroverts wherever the action is (think Genie from Aladdin – that should paint a pretty good – if not slightly exaggerated – picture).

Introverts – The Not-So Social Butterflies

Introverts, on the other hand, get their energy from being alone. This doesn’t mean they don’t like being social or aren’t friendly, it just means that too much social interaction drains them. They therefore tend to be the ones who are quieter, more introspective, and usually a good few feet away from all the action (think Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Slightly romanticized, but I think we’ll take it).

There’s a place for both these wonderful types of people in our world. But the reality is: society tends to privilege extroverted traits over introverted ones.

Think about it – how many times have you heard ‘leadership’, ‘action-oriented’ and ‘team-player’ spewed out as virtuous qualities to aim for? And how many times have you totally faked these virtuous qualities on your resume in an attempt to land a job?

There’s an extrovert expectation that’s imposed on children from the time they can walk and talk – Beth Buelow

This extrovert expectation can be seen everywhere you look. The business world is a perfect example – where being persuasive, decisive, and assertive – trademark extrovert traits – is pretty well the holy trinity of the corporate game (besides being able to speak very LOUDLY).

And it’s not just in the business world – this extrovert bias can also be seen in the other most important institution in our societyschools.

Participation grades – my story

When I was in University, we had this god-awful practice in place called participation grades (I’ll take a moment here to let every introvert reading this catch their breath).

During class, we were expected to speak up and contribute to the discussion. The thing is, I didn’t want to speak up and contribute. It wasn’t because I was shy – it was just because this simply wasn’t the way I (or any other introvert sitting in that class) operated.

I work best by listening to other people and then having time to process my thoughts on my own.  And a 30 minute class discussion where 20 people are going back and forth debating doesn’t quite allow for that.

I would always feel so overwhelmed when I was sitting in these classes. And it didn’t make matters any better when I could see my professor glaring at me from across the room just waiting for me to “speak up”. 

It never happened, and I have the grades to show it.

Knowing yourself and the world around you

What it all comes down to is this: you need to know how you work and you need to know how the world around you works. Only once you know this will you be able to understand how to make yourself happy in it. 

This is true for both introverts and extroverts. Introverts, however, may need a little extra help with this, as our society does little in the way of helping them on its own.

And THIS is where the power of self-care comes in

For us introverts, think of self-care as your lifeline. Without it, you’ll have a hard time being able to function in the extroverted world around you. That’s why for this article, I thought I’d round up my best, most effective self-care habits to keep all you introverts feeling fulfilled, energized, and FULLY operational!

So go some place quiet and listen up (which I know you will because you’re all great listeners), because here are 30 THINGS that are going to help you survive in this hectic world.

Come out of your shell’ – that noxious expression which fails to appreciate that some animals naturally carry shelter everywhere they go and some humans are just the same” – Susan Cain

30 Self Care Ideas for Introverts

 

1. Schedule in daily alone time

Now when I say schedule, I mean schedule – schedule it in that calendar like a doctor’s appointment! Even if it’s for ten minutes every afternoon, make sure you spend some part of your day A-L-O-N-E.

2. Learn how to say ‘no’

And stop feeling guilty about it! There’s no need to take on more than you can chew. If your body’s telling you that you don’t want to do something, you need to listen to to you body. 

3. Have a solo morning routine

Being alone in the morning is essential for an introvert to start their day off on the right foot (read: be in a good mood). Wake up before anyone else, do your stuff, and watch how much more aligned you feel for the rest of the day.

4. Have a solo night routine

This is just as important as your morning routine. Ending your day alone will give you time to be quiet, reflect, and work through any thoughts you have before going to sleep.

5. Stop comparing yourself to extroverts

Remember – society favours extroverted traits. This means that people who aren’t like are going to be celebrated as the “ideal” in the media and in your life. Don’t let it get to you. Remember: you are totally fine just the way you are.

6. Spend time in nature

This is one of the best ways to feel instantly refreshed and energized. Go for a walk around your block, go for a hike in the forest, or even just take a few deep breaths on your doorstep (pretending not to notice any of your neighbours who walk by, of course).

7. Read a book

Immerse yourself in the pages of a book and let them wisp you away to a whole different world (because sometimes our world can just be too darn much – and too darn loud).

8. Journal

Journaling – especially stream of consciousness journaling – is an incredibly powerful tool that helps you get in touch with your innermost thoughts and, therefore, your true self (also – it’s WAY easier for us introverts to express ourselves in writing rather than speaking).

9. Check in with yourself

How are you feeling in this moment? Are you okay? Are you stressed? Overwhelmed? Overstimulated? Make a habit of asking yourself these questions a few times a day. In fact, annoy yourself with how often you ask these questions!

10. Have a TV show just for YOU

Watching creepy crime dramas with your partner can be great, but don’t forget to keep some feel-good shows specially for you! Gilmore Girls for the 80th time, perhaps?

11. Do some breathing exercises

Deep breathing is an immensely powerful way of bringing your thoughts out of the outer world and into the inner world for a few moments. If you want to learn about some specific breathing techniques, you can find them explained in our free Anxiety Handbook!

12. Listen to your favourite music

Put in your earbuds and jam out to your favourite tunes alone in your room. Use your hairbrush as a microphone, 2001 Lizzie Mcguire style. We won’t judge. In fact, we’ll be doing the same alone in our room!

13. Listen to podcasts

Tuning out the world and learning at the same time? Pretty much the definition of a win-win solution for any introvert. Try checking out these podcasts that are especially designed for us quiet types.

14. Exercise

We already know that exercising is crucial for pretttty much everyone on this earth, but introverts can benefit even more from the alone time it gives them. 

15. Listen to spa music

For me, listening to spa music is the quickest way to just calm down and zen out when I feel overwhelmed. Here’s a good playlist to get you started. WARNING: be careful not to close your blinds while you listen to it, or you may do what I’ve done MANY a time and accidentally forget that an outside world even exists.

16. Use some essential oils

Aromatherapy is another great tool you can use to counteract the hecticness of the world. My personal favourites for a chill-out sesh are lavender, eucalyptus, and clary sage. Pair this with the above mentioned spa music and you’re in for a real time.

17. Research something

Introverts tend to be naturally curious and good at studying. A good way to satisfy this urge is by researching a topic you don’t know much about. I suggest labelling a notebook “My Introverted Investigations” and using it to write down all that you discover!

18. Take a bath

This makes a great addition to your solo nighttime routine. Add in some essential oils for an extra bit of well-deserved pampering.

19. Bake or cook something

Yet another great way to get in the zone and tune out the world for a while. Plus, if you can get lasagna or cookies out of it, it’s a pretty sweet deal!

20. Clean your house

Try dedicating a half hour each day to cleaning. On top of giving you some much-needed alone time, it also has the added perk of ticking stuff off your to-do list!

21. Do something creative

It could be playing music, writing, doing some art, even just doodling on a scrap piece of paper – spending some time getting in touch with your inner artist child is a great way for introverts to feel more energized.

22. Shop alone

This is a MUST for every single introvert out there. Spending an afternoon shopping alone – whether that’s grocery shopping or treat-yourself shopping – can be all you need to feel fulfilled for the rest of your day. And get this: the only person you’ll have to talk to the whole time is the cashier!

23. Take a break from social media

The constant bombardment of information and photos of OTHER people can get exhausting. Switch your devices off and just focusing on doing your thing.

24. Take a long shower and spend a lot of time getting ready

Honestly, who doesn’t like a nice, thorough shower and then spending a good two hours in the bathroom self-pampering? Sorry roomies – bathroom is occupied for the foreseeable future.

25. Look through old photos

This is a super cute and personal activity that’s meant just for YOU. Close your door, open you old photo albums, and take a wistful walk down memory lane.

26. Schedule a date with your best friend

Although introverts get refreshed by being alone, we can also sometimes get this from spending one-on-one time with one – ONE (did I mention one?) – of our closest friends. Just make sure it’s someone who you feel comfortable being totally yourself around.

27. Set specific times for contacting people

If you’re an introvert but you have a lot of friends, it can be overwhelming when text after text after text starts to cram up your inbox. Instead of feeling like you have to respond to everyone STRAIGHT away, set aside 30 minutes a day dedicated to catching up on your correspondence (sounds romantic, no?).

28. Go on a solo day trip

If you’re an introvert and you’ve never spent a day at a museum, art gallery, or even a restaurant alone – you’re seriously missing out. This is one of the most refreshing things that we can do as introverts. Plus – it’s also a fantastic way to gain confidence!

29. Take a long drive

Turn up the radio, roll down the windows, and just enjoy the cruise. Maybe discover a new town, maybe get lost, maybe accidentally drive to the mountains and stay for a month… whoops.

30. Schedule your week

One of the most useful things you can do as an introvert is spend some time (on a Sunday!) scheduling out your week. This allows you to schedule in advance time to spend doing these self-care habits.

It’s one thing to read about self-care, but it’s a whole other thing to actually incorporate these habits into your daily routine.

Natalie Burns-Holland

Natalie Burns-Holland

Content Creator at Mindaya

Natalie is a freelance writer living in Edinburgh, Scotland.