Why do New Year’s Resolutions Always Fail? The #1 Reason

Why do New Year’s Resolutions Always Fail? The #1 Reason

Setting New Year’s resolutions is something most of us do every single year, but it seems like almost none of us ever seem to follow through with them. So it begs the question, why do our New Year’s resolutions always fail? 

Does this situation sound familiar to you?

It’s January 1st. You’re motivated, you’re inspired, and you’re ready to totally SLAY your New Year’s Resolutions! “THIS year”, you think, is going to be the year I make BIG changes in my life!”.

But after a few weeks into January, you start to notice something…

You start to notice that all those “big changes” you were planning are just…not happening.

What’s the deal?! Why is it that year after year, we so often FAIL to keep our New Year’s Resolutions?

I saw a funny quote the other day that said “every night I go to bed believing that tomorrow I’ll wake up with the motivation and work ethic that I have never displayed in my entire life.”

Honestly, I think this may just be the most relatable thing I’ve ever read.

It took me YEARS to learn how to develop the motivation to truly stick with my goals. It wasn’t easy, and it took practice – and there were definitely times when I strayed off track and had to find my way back again.

But throughout all this practice, I learned a LOT about how our minds work with regards to setting goals for ourselves. So I’ll get right into it, with:

Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail

The number one reason why most people fail to keep their New Year’s Resolutions is undoubtedly because they are setting goals that are FAR TOO HIGH.

Although it may seem like it’s a good thing to set high goals, in reality, it just sets you up for disappointment down the road.

Ultimately, when you set goals that are too high, you’re expecting yourself to somehow magically adopt new habits overnight. AS IF adopting new habits was that easy!

The truth is, changing our habits is a lot more difficult than we think.

Over the years, I’ve learned that our ability to pursue our goals and stick with new habits is a combination of two things:

  1. Our underlying motivation behind our goals, and
  2. The habits we already have

In order to make goals and form new habits that we actually stick to, we need to get to the root cause of WHY we want this habit in the first place. How will it make us feel? Happier, more confident, more at ease? How is it going to change our life for the better?

On top of that, we also need to take into consideration the habits we already have. If you naturally wake up at 10am every morning, then setting your New Year’s Resolution to waking up at 6am may not be the most realistic thing to do. Think about your lifestyle as it already is – what are your current habits?

New Year’s Resolutions typically fail when your goals look something like this:

I want to wake up at x time to work out every day and lose x amount of weight by x date

If this is your goal, I can almost guarantee you that you won’t stick with this in the long run. Why? Because this goal does NOT sound fun. It sounds like you’re forcing yourself to do a whole lot of work for a number on the scale!

When you make goals simply in the hopes of reaching a final end point (like losing x amount of weight), you’re not forming sustainable goals. Instead, you’re trying to force habits onto yourself that don’t actually feel good to you and that WON’T work with your lifestyle – which is why you’ll never feel like doing them!

BUT, your New Year’s Resolutions will be less likely to fail if they look something like this:

I want to build a lifestyle that makes me feel energized in the morning – I want to move my body before work, and I want to feel good throughout the day

This is a MUCH healthier and more achievable goal because it doesn’t confine you to strict boundaries and tight guidelines. Instead of coming from a place of enforcement and restriction, it comes from a place of encouragement and inspiration. This way, you’ll feel much more motivated to actually work towards your goal.

goals - how do you want to feel?

They key is creating goals that are sustainable – ones that you want to pursue, ones that don’t feel like work

One very important thing to remember when it comes to sustainable goals is that you can’t expect them to happen overnight. There’s no way you’re going to be able to go from never exercising on January 1st to all of a sudden being Kayla Itsines on the 5th!

These habits take TIME.

It’s always uncomfortable implementing new habits at first – but if you make sure that your habits are things you actually enjoy doing and make you feel good, then reaching your goals is going to be SO much easier!

Some final tips to help you keep your New Year’s Resolutions:

  1. Focus on how you want to feel, rather than what you want to achieve. This will help reframe your mind into thinking about your goals as something you truly want, rather than something you need.
  2. Don’t make too many resolutions at once! Start out by choosing just one or two good goals – it may not seem like much, but trust me, it’ll be enough!
  3. Don’t expect miracles overnight. Remember that changing habits takes time.
  4. Write down your action plan – this will help you make solid steps towards actually reaching your goals. The more detail, the more likely you are to succeed.
  5. Keep a journal to track your progress. Write down everything – the good and the bad. This will help you learn from your mistakes and keep moving forward.

And finally – remember to go easy on yourself. Make sure your resolutions are coming from a place of self-love and self-respect rather than just self-improvement for the sake of self-improvement. Enjoy the process and embrace the detours. This is what it’s all about!

How to Change Your Habits Quickly: The Secret That Will Get You Started in 5 Minutes!

How to Change Your Habits Quickly: The Secret That Will Get You Started in 5 Minutes!

We all want to learn how to change our habits for the better. Let me be more accurate – we all want to learn how to change our habits for the better as quickly as possible!

I mean, let’s be honest – how many times have we written our New Year’s Resolutions determined that come January 1st, we will be this totally new and improved version of ourselves? Ta-da!

Well, I’ve been studying habits for quite some time now, and sadly, there isn’t really a “quick-fix” way to change your habits – which is why most people FAIL.

Think about it – when you try to change your habits too quickly, your lifestyle won’t be able to keep up. You get overwhelmed, you get disheartened, and then you go straight back to ground zero. 

But don’t worry just yet, because I’ve got some great news…

You CAN change your habits and the course of your life IMMEDIATELY with this one little-known secret…

So what’s the big secret?

Well, it all comes down to you making a decision. You must make the simple decision that you want to change, but you must ACCEPT that this change will be SLOW!

Okay, I know I said that this article was about changing habits quickly, but I need to access the people that think this is possible – and then give them a big REALITY CHECK!

 That’s why this article should really be called…

How to Change Your Habits Quickly by Going Slowly

Paradoxical, I know. But honestly: the fastest way to change your habits quickly is to GO SLOWLY – making tiny changes that will give BIG rewards. 

And I’m going to show you exactly how to do this in just 3 simple steps:

Step 1: Start by changing your mindset

It all starts with your mindset. If you decide to change your life, you can and you will.

Your mindset is so unbelievably powerful. So powerful that people have used pure willpower to overcome extreme life circumstances – reaching crazy levels of success and achieving near unfathomable things (let’s not forget the mothers who have literally lifted cars to save their children).

If you have a strong will, you can do just about anything!

Of course it does take time to overcome your mental blocks, but that initial decision to change your habits for the better is what can change it all!

Here are the 3 most important mindset shifts you need:

1. Learn to be patient: your habits won’t change overnight. You need to realize it will take a bit of time. Be patient with yourself and don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t happen as quickly as you’d like it to.

2. Shift from thinking that you need this new habit to actually wanting this new habit: you need to remind yourself that this habit will bring you to a place that you want to be in life. Don’t think of it as a chore, or something to tick of your New Year’s Resolutions list, think of it as something that will make you genuinely happier in your day-to-day life.

3. Understand that new habits will be TOUGH at first: you have to push through the discomfort – that’s the only way you’ll be able to reach a point where your habits will stick.

Step 2: Don’t expect your entire life to all of a sudden change – start with just ONE habit

Start with ONE habit that you want to change that will give you the most reward. By starting with one small change and sticking with it each day, you’ll get into the habit of self-improvement and continuous growth. Over time, this will snowball into big changes in your life!

In my course on personal development and habit-building (which is coming soon, btw!), I talk about the idea of habit stacking. This is the BEST and easiest way to make lasting change, because it allows you to build upon your habits over time.

It also works great because it makes you develop a “cue” that will remind you to do your new habit every day.

Here’s a quick and easy way to habit stack using cues: 

  1. Start by choosing the habit that you think will change your daily routine the most (and for the best). For example, waking up earlier.
  2. Once you have gotten used to this habit, add another habit that builds off of the first one. For example, adding 5 minutes of exercise to your morning routine. 
  3. Once both of those habits are in place (after about a month or so), add yet another habit onto them. For example, making a healthy breakfast that will fuel your day.

This technique works well because it allows each of your habits to become cues for the next habit, allowing you to add habit after habit to create a routine that works for you!

Step 3: Make a goal plan to help you change your habits

Making a plan can change your life. It can lead to real results and lasting change.

Just the simple act of writing something down that you are looking forward to can make you feel so much happier and more motivated!

That’s why it’s important to write down a simple goal plan that outlines all the steps that you need to take in order to reach your goals and change your habits.

This will serve as a daily reminder that outlines specific steps that will make the whole process of changing your habits much easier. 

Some tips for helping you make an effective goal plan include:

– Choosing habits that will serve your wider goals

– Choosing habits that compliment each other (for example, habits that are easily stackable)

Give yourself two weeks to a month to allow for each new habit to become ingrained in your routine. And remember – some habits will come quicker than others!

The time is NOW to change your habits!

You CAN change your habits and you CAN change your life – and you can do this all right now.

As long as you are willing and able to accept that these changes won’t necessarily be instant – and that they will take real effort and determination – then you’ve already done half the battle!

Some closing words of wisdom to help you going forward:

– It all starts with 3 key mindset shifts – learning to be patient, shifting from thinking that you need to change your habits to actually wanting to change your habits, and understanding that incorporating new habits will be tough at first

– Think baby steps: start small with just one habit change, and work your way up from there

– Take some time to write down a goal plan that outlines the practical steps you need to take to change your habits

– And lastly (but definitely not least!) – don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember that changing your habits is a difficult thing to do – so don’t worry if you run into some bumps in the road (this is normal!). Celebrate the small wins – because it’s the small wins that will over time turn into the big wins.

7 DIY Daily Self-Care Ideas You Would Have Never Thought Of!

7 DIY Daily Self-Care Ideas You Would Have Never Thought Of!

Self-care is all the rage these days, and for good reason – it works! I find that with some of these DIY daily self-care ideas, I have helped both my mental and physical health, and it has made me much more productive!

BUT… it’s really hard to turn that into a habit!

So I’ve put together some fun and easy DIY ideas, so you can make self-care into a habit!

Plus, if you’re looking for some extra help with your self-care, I have some free self-care worksheets that you use that will help you stay on track and incorporate self-care into your daily life!

Idea #1: Self-care popsicle sticks 

When you feel like you need a bit of extra self-care in your day and don’t know what to do (this can actually be the hardest part), just pull from a jar filled with popsicle sticks that have self-care ideas written on them!

You can choose from the 100 self-care ideas!

My favourite self-care activities to include are:

  1. Going on a walk
  2. Cooking a healthy comfort food meal, like mac and cheese with broccoli, peas, and onions!
  3. Calling a friend for a quick chat!
  4. Having a shower and putting on a luxurious smelling moisturizer!
  5. Putting on an essential oil diffuser and reading a book!

 You can also just use pieces of paper if you don’t have popsicle sticks, not a big deal!

 

Showing the self-care popsicle sticks that can be used daily and are easy to DIY

Idea #2: Coloured paper clip habit tracker

One of my favourite self-care ideas that you can do daily is to simply track your habits with paper clips!

It seems simple, but humans LOVE visual cues, and will give you a little hint of dopamine every time it sees more paper clips in the jar!

Soon enough, you’ll make caring for yourself a habit – which will improve your mental health and energy, as well as offering tons of other benefits to your life!

Paper clips to use as a daily self-care habit tracker

Idea #3: Money jar self-care habit tracker

Just like the one above, this self-care activity will give you an even bigger reward – money!

Which you can then use to get yourself a more luxurious self-care treat!

Idea #4: Journaling ideas for daily for self-care

I love to journal, I think that it’s a great way to unlock deeper emotions and get all your feelings out!

I have so many free journaling exercises and I also have some articles that link to them!

100 mental health journal prompts

30 days of self-care journaling exercise

3 Must-Have Journal Exercises For Anxiety

Idea #5: DIY your own fun self-care habit tracker!

Use your creative skills to make an online or paper habit tracker!

Things you can track:

  1. Cups of water
  2. Daily exercise
  3. Meditation
  4. Mood (to see how all of these things affect your mood)
  5. Outside time
  6. Time with friends
  7. Making your bed

You can get my super cute self-care tracker here for free!

Idea #6: Sticky Note Daily Self-Care/Daily Self-Love Affirmations

Keep a stack of sticky notes on your desk and write different self-care ideas or positive affirmations!

Pull one off each morning as a fun way to start your day! Bonus if you stick it somewhere you can see on the daily, it will make it more fun!

Idea #7: Create a Self-Care Space for Yourself

It can be as simple as creating a safe little cove for yourself in a corner of your room, but having a space where you can read and be safe and happy can make a world of difference!

Try adding fairy light, a salt lamp, a nice cushion, and a soft blanket! You’ll feel happy and cared for every day!

I love finding ways to incorporate more self-care into my life and to make it a daily habit!

Do you have any self-care activities that you love? I’d love to hear them!

Best Vision Board Alternative: Find Yours to Supercharge Your Goals

Best Vision Board Alternative: Find Yours to Supercharge Your Goals

I love vision boards, the law of attraction, and manifesting so much! They are amazing ways to attract the goals you want! A lot of people like to make their vision boards and then “let go” and not look at them, which is one way of doing things, but I like to be reminded of my goals and dreams every day! That’s why I’ve come up with some fun vision board alternatives to give you daily inspiration and help skyrocket your goals as we move into 2020!

Here are my Top Vision Board Alternatives for Achieving Your Goals!

Alternative #1: Vision board photo wall

Simply having some cute photos pinned to your wall is another great way to start a vision board (or turn it into something amazing!)

You can cut pictures from magazines, print some off the internet, write quotes – whatever you would do for a vision board, but this can be ever changing. You can add, remove, replace, and make it something really special!

And you can keep it where you can see it, like I do!

Vision board alternative #2: sticky notes where you can see them

Sticky notes can be absolutely great for manifesting! You can write down your intentions, positive affirmations, big goals – and place them around your living space where you can get reminders!

You can also put pictures too if you’d like, but sticky notes are just so easy!

Tip: Write down your intentions as if you already have done them! And sprinkle in some gratitude to that!

Example: I am grateful that I have my 6-figure dream job.

Shows an alternative to having a vision board, using sticky notes.

Alternative #3: audio “vision board”

I find this one really exciting! I love the power of meditations and listening to audio to increase the power of your record a message of your hopes and dreams and listen to it each morning.

Again, with this you can record positive affirmations, messages of gratitude, setting an intention for the day, list your goals as if you have them, or anything else you would like!

Here’s a voice recording app for apple and this one is for android.

Visional board alternative #4: Using a goal planner (like this one!)

I love using a goal planner! It’s such a great way to break down your goals into easy tasks that you can complete and feel good about!

It’s the best way to reach your goals (in my opinion) because it helps you look at it in small chunks, which makes everything less overwhelming and much more do-able!

#5. Pinterest vision board

This is kind of the point of Pinterest in a way!

It’s a great, virtual way to gather all of your important dreams and goals into one place!

You can also find great tips for reaching your goals on there too!

(bonus tip: have a bookmark in your browser linking to your Pinterest vision board so that you can refer to it when you need some extra inspiration!)

#6. Vision Journal

Use a journal or journal prompts for fulfilling your visions!

You can write your affirmations each morning/evening to set your day up for success!

Keep a journal by your bed so that you remember to do it!

Journaling as an alternative to a vision board

#7. Guided vision meditations/visual meditations as an alternative

Guided meditations are a great way to help you manifest and create a solid vision. 

This is a way that you can practice the law of attraction daily, in an active way!

There are so many great options out there on youtube, you can get a manifestation video for pretty much anything you want!

There’s also a cool website called mindmovies, which I’ve never personally used – but they create powerful manifestation videos for specific goals. Could be worth a shot!

Do you have a favourite vision board alternative?

Let me know in the comments!

20 Self-Care Ideas for Anxiety to Lead to a Massive Breakthrough

20 Self-Care Ideas for Anxiety to Lead to a Massive Breakthrough

As a long-time anxiety-haver, I have found that one of the BEST ways to keep anxiety at bay is to do a heck of a lot of self-care. There are so many ways to do the whole self-care thing, but there are some ideas that are just better suited for anxiety!

These self-care ideas will leave you feeling more mentally free and physically energized, which definitely goes a long way when dealing with anxiety!

And honestly, some of these are nothing new, but they are THE most important things you can do for yourself!

This post may contain some affiliate links, but only to products that I believe in and that will improve your life! 

  Just want to let ya know: The information and tips on this website are from my personal experience with anxiety and are not a substitute for any type of medical, psychological or health advice. You can view our full disclaimer policy here.

There is always help out there, and you can find a mental health professional locally, through your doctor, or through an online directory like this one. This is a link to a great article with affordable therapy options and this is an affiliate link to a great online therapy option. If you are in a crisis, I have a list of help hotlines here. You are not alone!!

So here are my top 20 Self-Care Ideas for Anxiety

Habit-Based Self-Care Ideas for Anxiety

It can be REALLY hard to do anything when you feel anxious and stressed, and doing any of the following things might be VERY difficult. But it can be a bit easier than you think and over time, these things can become second nature to you.

Incorporating self-care habits into your life will make your day-to-day life feel a lot more enjoyable and these healthy habits will help you feel good physically and mentally, which can help you to avoid hitting those “lows” of your mental health and anxiety.

1. Declutter for 5 mins

Having less clutter in your physical space will lead to less clutter in your mental space. I know decluttering is the last thing you want to do when you feel anxious, but it helps so much! Just take baby steps, and do a couple minutes of decluttering in the spaces you use the most!

2. Do a quick, daily clean of your kitchen

Healthy eating is a big must for self-care, but you won’t want to cook if your kitchen is a mess!

Try cleaning the kitchen as you cook, or you can even trick yourself into doing it by just setting a 5-min timer and see how much you can get done! (You’ll usually want to do more later anyway).

3. Do your Laundry

Laundry tends to be something that literally piles up on you. It can act as this big weight on your mental health.

A great thing to get in the habit of doing is having one or two days a week where you just quickly throw in a load of laundry. Set a timer and just do it!

If you have to go to a laundromat, invite a friend with you and it will be much more enjoyable!

4. Cut back on spending (on frivolous things)

Financial troubles can be a huge cause of anxiety and stress, so cutting some of that burden can make a world of difference.

Making small changes can make a huge difference, like thrift shopping, making coffee at home and having more nights in with your friends (or virtual hang outs).

If you’ve been eyeing some new furniture, jewelry, or whatever it may be – you could try to go DIY!

It’s also important to budget and see where everything is coming from, I have a free little budget planner that you can get as part of my self-care planner + resources!

5. Try using a planner

Keeping track of these new healthy habits and planning out your self-care activities is an absolute must!

If you sign up for my self-care guide, you’ll get access to all my free worksheets and free courses that surround self-care! I have checklists, habit trackers, calendars, and mini-courses that are designed to help you implement self-care strategies into your life.

6. Daily gratitude

You can either do some journaling or just take the time at the beginning and end of each day to think about what you’re grateful for!

(Set a reminder for yourself to do this!)

7. Listening to music

Another easy thing to do that we forget so often! It just makes every part of your day better and can give you some motivation to do the tasks that you don’t feel like doing.

Maybe invest in a spotify account! Mine has worked wonders for me because now I always have access to good music!

Health Self-Care Ideas to reduce anxiety

8. Taking Vitamins and supplements

Things like b-12 and omega 3s can work wonders for your mood and focus, and supplements like magnesium are excellent for calming your body and muscles. This is something that you should discuss with your physician.

 9. Going on a daily walk 

Exercise has so many amazing health and mental health benefits.

You can do the shortest walk imaginable. Just tell yourself to go out for 5 mins (and then you’ll probably want to go for longer). 

Getting into the fresh air and releasing some endorphins will boost your mood significantly. Plus daily exercise has so many health benefits and has been shown to reduce symptoms of anxiety as much as anti-anxiety medication!

10. Learning how to cook! (Or at least adding more veggies and protein to your meals)

Eating healthy is so important for maintaining your mental health. A really easy way to start feeling better is to add more veggies and protein to each meal. Just this small thing can have a lot benefits!

If cooking really isn’t your thing, consider a health meal delivery service, like fresh meals! You can get healthy meals delivered straight to your door, and you won’t have to deal with ingredients going bad!

11. 8 cups of water (get a big-ass water bottle!)

It’s so simple and has so many benefits. Just do it! Set reminders if you must.

“Inner-work” self-care ideas for anxiety

12. Challenging and changing negative self-talk

Negative self-talk can turn a small stress into a big stress. Remind yourself to challenge that negative voice in your head! For every negative thing you catch yourself thinking, replace it with something more positive (or at least neutral).

13. Give yourself some real, good, self-love!

Practicing self-love and self-compassion will help every aspect of your mental health, especially when you’re feeling down about how anxious you feel (the anxiety-shame spiral is real folks!) Try these self-love journal prompts that will help you along your self-love journey.

14. Journaling

Journaling is good for everything emotional! It’s the perfect self-care go-to because you can journal for stress-relief, gratitude, self-love, anxiety-relief, inner-child work, and so much more!

15. Doing a deep (and uncomfortable ) self-assessment

Sometimes it’s very important to take a deep look at your own behaviours that might be affecting your situation. 

Are you self-sabotaging in your life and relationships? Are there areas in your life where you should be taking more responsibility?

What do you need to work on that will improve your life?

16. THEN FORGIVE YOURSELF. 

People make mistakes. EVERYONE makes mistakes. 

When you have anxiety or anything else affecting your mental health, it can be hard to do all the things that you know are good for yourself. And this can lead to an unfortunate shame spiral. 

Mistakes or self-sabotaging behaviour are a part of human nature. The important thing is that you learn and grow from these experiences. 

In my mind, there really is no such thing as mistakes, just learning experiences.

17. Consider therapy!

Therapy is something that is great for anyone and everyone! You don’t need to have a diagnosis to get therapy. And right now, online therapy is more accessible than ever! You can get all the help you need for half the price of traditional therapy.

18. Meditation

Learning to meditate and getting into the habit of meditation can be really hard because we’re always so used to having our minds constantly stimulated. However, just spending 5 mins in the morning or night (or both!) to do a quick meditation can work wonders! There are tons of great free meditations on youtube that you can find!

19. Mindfulness

Mindfulness is similar to meditation, it can take some time to get used to. However, mindfulness is probably the MOST useful tool when it comes to beating stress and anxiety.

Whenever I feel stressed about life in general and I find myself slipping into bad habits (like avoiding the world and not taking care of myself), I just think about what will make me happiest in the present moment. Is it worrying? (NO!) Is it doing something enjoyable like making a nice meal or hanging out with my friends? (YES!)

That’s how I try to make all of my life decisions now, and I have to say that it’s working out pretty well! 

20. Do a huge negativity purge!

I urge you to go through every aspect of your life and think about the things that are bringing you stress and negativity. If it doesn’t have space in your life, let it go!

Here are some quick tips to get started: go through your entire house and get rid of anything you don’t need, do the same with your workspace, your email list, your social media, and even your friend group!

Get rid of anything that doesn’t serve you!

So there you have it, the most important self-care ideas for anxiety and mental health!

If you want any extra help, you should sign up for my self-care guide and worksheets!

It includes

  • full self-care book! 
  • goal planner
  • meal planner
  • habit tracker
  • budget
  • much more!